I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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