I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
