okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
