is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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