i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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