farters have to be the big spoon...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
