so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He passed out mid-signature
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
