ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
