hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
