nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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