what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You can't special order awesome
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
