She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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