WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
