And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
