You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
