dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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