Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
