Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
