Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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