I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
