Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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