The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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