this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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