i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
