I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
