He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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