I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no you cant smoke seaweed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
