I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
and you fell through a lawn chair
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
