a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
