he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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