i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
