He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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