I wanna bring you to show and tell
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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