So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize