dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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