Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
