I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
