i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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