I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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