In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"