I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
