Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
