so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
