i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
