I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
