Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
