Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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