Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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