Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
