Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he just fucked me for my cheese..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize