come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize