I can tuck mytits in my pants
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
