Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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